So what's going on with Sri Lankan cricket?

“What’s going on with Sri Lankan cricket?”

Do you really want to know? If you’re not the kind of person who acts with flagrant disregard towards your own mental health, it’s perhaps best to stop reading here. The answer to the question above is the kind that starts with mocking guffaws, turns into nervous laughter as truths begin to hit home, morphs slowly into despondent sobbing, and ends with unchecked, hours-long, Oscar-worthy ugly-crying. If you’re willing to read this, good luck. Strap in.

So what’s going on with Sri Lankan cricket?

Today it’s players being sent home from a tour of England after breaching the team’s bio-bubble in Durham Market Square on Sunday night. Three players, to be exact, which you suspect is also the number of braincells that had been collectively harnessed when the decision to make a break for it was made.

Cricket boards pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to maintain biosecure bubbles, on top of regular tour costs. Special government approvals are granted so international cricket matches can viably take place. And Sri Lanka’s cricketers were preferentially administered the first dose of the Sputnik V Covid-19 vaccine, because apparently – although scorecards might protest – they were deemed to be carrying out a service that was important to the well-being of their nation…

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