President-elect Jayasuriya announces sweeping changes

Recently elected President Jayasuriya of the Democtratic Republique of Sri Lanka yesterday announced sweeping changes across the board in what he calls the Mandatory Power Play - Part 1

President Jayasuriya touched on several key areas of Change

Finance/Business
-All future government investments require a proof of ROI inside 3 months. Any projects that take longer will be scrapped.

Jaysuriya issued a statement saying “For any nation to become a great one you need to start looking at short term wins. Once we get our eye in we can settle down the economy and we can then start thinking about long term plans or innings if you will. Otherwise the public just get bored”

Retirement
-In a move many had predicted, the new president increased the mandatory retirement age to 150 from 65, with an option to come back into the workforce if the employee still felt like he could play a role.

Government and Parliment.
-The current parliment is to shut down with immediate effect. All future govermental meetings will be held at the Presidents residence around a very large round table. President Jayasuriya felt that inorder to drive the nation in a new direction one needed to be innovative and clever and slightly unorthodox and to break away from conventional democratic practice.

This move has been hailed across the world as a brainchild and the US senate is already thinking of relocating to the Rose Bowl.

Transport
-City speed limits were increased to a 110kpmh from the usual 20-30kmph ambiguity. Drivers who consistently drive below the speed limit are to be heavily fined by the Police. Car owners who take calculated risks that do not endanger the general public will be allowed lee way under the new laws.

Employment and Trade
-In a decision that angered most critics, President Jayasuriya ordered that employees who are only skilled in one field be immediately sacked. In its place, Jayasuriya encouraged the new generation to specialise in one area but to also have an allround ability so that they can be relied upon when the company needed them.

-He also encouraged the workforce to look at a move to India as a future prospect. The president felt that there were lucrative business deals to be engaged in across the palk straits and that this will eventually benifit the country as a whole.

Comments

Hilal's picture
Member since:
20 November 2008
Last activity:
3 min 28 sec

LOL! Mandatory power play-1... ha ha!

Hilal's picture
Member since:
20 November 2008
Last activity:
3 min 28 sec

Argghh..even the speed limit on the streets went up! Only all rounders allowed?? LOL

Damith Samarakoon's picture
Member since:
26 December 2008
Last activity:
7 weeks 4 days

I quite enjoyed the retirement age increase. Wonder what the opposition will say about this.

Damith Samarakoon's picture
Member since:
26 December 2008
Last activity:
7 weeks 4 days

And there is no room for slow scorers, I mean drivers. Too boring.

Anonymous's picture

Ha ha... very soon all this will be true.

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